Simon Trussler made his debut bringing our average age down to around 32 (compared to Woottons 22!) and he slotted in nicely next to the gaff in midfield, although other debutant Scott Eason pushed that average age back up to 38 the minute he stepped on the pitch! Utd’s game plan (long throws to head on a stick) was hampered when Jason Owen pulled up after 3 minutes and was replaced by Muzzalele who went up top a led to a bit of a side reshuffle. The side didn’t settle and we were soon one nil down as a crossed ball from the right saw the Wootton striker on his own in the area to tap past the helpless Lines (who was actually reapplying his fake tan, but couldn’t have stopped it even if he wasn’t!).

Utd then got to grips with the team reshuffle and started to take control of the game with long ball being pumped in from Slinky throw ins and some good crosses being put in, unfortunately no one good get a final touch.

Utd equalised late in the first half when Flaser ambled up for a long throw and scrambled the ball home. cofirming that when he’s scoring off the pitch, it helps him on the pitch.

The second half came and fitness levels really started to show as the young Wootton lads took the veteran Utd stalwarts to chinatown with some energetic runs, Nasal in particular blowing out of his heavily strapped lower back / arse!

Wootton added 2 more but to be fair could have had a lot more and Utd barely troubled the opposition keeper as 2 games in a week caught up with players who hadn’t played 2 full games in 2 years!

Like Muzza said in teh changing rooms afterwards, there were lots of positives to take, he refused to comment on what they were but I would suggest another 90 mins under the belt, entry into the meat raffle, some good post match banter, and nobody died are always good starting points!

Team

Kris Lines – Don’t actually remember him making that many saves but was strong in the air.
Nasal – Put some decent crosses in but struggled against a young whippersnapper of a winger.
Slinky – Long throws and offsides, it’s what he does.
Flaser – Calm on the ball and strong in the tackle, plus a goal. I’ll have some of what he’s having!!!
Jason Owen – After giving me £100 before the game that works out at £33.30 a minute.
Lewy – Up and down and on another day could have had 3. Will score goals this year.
Trussler – A solid debut with plenty of energy. Will need to get used to watching the ball sail over his head.
Weave – Again played in a number of positions and again let no one down.
Thick – Up and down and had the sweatiest shirt. If he can work on his final ball he will be a hell of a asset.
Kerrminator – absolutely f@ckedfrom last weeks exercisions but still showed moments of class.
Super Scotty Eason – A good debut from the big man who should nice control and touch. A touch concerning that he was bossed in the air by a pixie.

Sub :
Muzza – An early introduction up top but came into his own when dropped back into midfield.
Bugsy – Strong on the line (when watching) and did a go job at right back as well.

1. Krissy “Sort your life out and tell your misses your playing every week” Lines
2. Neil “Bought a back strap / girdle “McDermott
3. Dave “Needs to check if he can come to the pub” Maloney
4. FLASER “Home before dark” Gascoyne
5. Jason “Head On A Stick Owen” Owen
6. Neil “Dr Peath” Lewis
7. Ali “Dead leg” McDermott
8. Phil “Slide tackle” Littlewood
9. Paul “Matchstick legs” Reynolds
10. Jamie “Last two games a final at Sixfields and a brace” Kerr
11. Trialist

Sub :
Trialist

Scorers – Kerr (2), Lewis.

Match Report :
The first friendly for the club saw more drop outs than an Asbo convention and the backroom staff having to call in a couple of trialists to bolster the squad and bring the average age of the team down to just 32.

The side belide their age by getting out of the blocks quickest with Kerr tucking home a delicious cross from trialist inside the first couple of minutes. Anyone who thought a hammering was on the cards was to be disappointed as a fairly even encounter was played out for the remainder of the first half, with Utd having the slight edge once Slinky was pushed out to the left wing, thus adding Phil as a central midfielder to play with Lewy. Key to the first half was an excellent understanding built up by the keeper and  defence, basically if the ball is in the air Jase will call for it and 9 times out of 10 win it, and decapitate anyone in front of him!

Half time was a welcome release for the veterans with Owen taking over the flag duties. Utd double their lead when Kerr powered home another excellent finish and added further to the lead when Lewy was put through and given all the time in the world to mmmmmm pass the ball into the net.

Utd created plenty of chances throughout the game and with a few more preseason friendlies hopefully some semblence of fitness and sharpness will kick in for the less agile members of the squad. A good first outing for the lads with everyone doing reasonably well. Fraser and Jase controlled the defence well with the Weave playing abley wherever he was asked to perform. Kris Lines in goal also looks very orange er I mean promising, and will hopefully be available for the coming season.

Website MOM : Football

Match report to follow