Wombles 3 Hartwell Rangers 4

1. Sunbed – Goal poacher
2. Nase – Ditto
3. Winners – Master of slice
4. Flaser – Very angry young man
5. Jase – Ditto
6. Ronnie – Second half syndrome in reverse
7. Truss – Went to a wedding or something, we let 3 more goals in
8. Lewy – Raising hands in a slap / push motion
9. Rob – Andy Cole
10. Eason – Towards the end will have been happy to not be old enough to be his strike partners Dad
11. Ali – Vocal tactician
12. Nath – Proving a point
13. Drapes (for Jase) – Excellent lino, continuity passer
14. Bobster – One third of the three amigos

Goals : Lewy (pen), Nath, Nase

MOM : Nath

The Wombles welcomed Hartwell to Dally Park with the squad stretched due to injury and marquee inspecting, but a strong side saw no place in the starting line up for last weeks goal scorer Nath.

The Wombles started pretty well and Rob went close on two or three occassions when he will probably feel he could have done better. As the half wore on though Hartwell got a grip on the game and a combination of poor passing from the home side and infighting contributed to the away side taking the lead.

Half time and club talisman Truss had to slope off but this gave Nath the chance to stake his claim for a starting spot. He grasped this with both immaculately manicured hands when he went on a run from the half way line and was (sort of) upended by a Hartwell defender – a penalty and yellow card were given to the surprise of many in the ground.

After a bit of mind games from Slinky , Lewy eventually stepped up and calmly dispatched the kick past the keeper who did well to get a hand on it. The Wombles were back!!!!!!! for 10 seconds…

From the kick off Nasal gave away an honest and experienced free kick around fourty yards from goal after being turned. The resultant free kick was floated up toward the goal where Linesy had it covered, until it bounced down off the bar and onto his shiny bonce! 2 – 1 Hartwell.

This seemed to knock the stuffing out of the Wombles and they conceeded another after half the team stopped expecting Hartwell to kick the ball out as one of their players was down, their striker had a look round and continued through the static defence to rifle home. Naive defending from a side with an average age of 34!

The skipper was then booked for a one sided grappling match on the floor and Lewy took on the oppositions weakest player in a scene reminiscent of the time he protected Nasal by starting a fight in the time and envy toilet!!

The Wombles managed to get a goal back through Nath when he powered home a corner from a perfectly executed Slinky corner. Hartwell then added a fourth (I think that was the order of the goals?!) before the gaffa finally changed the formation to put Nase up top alongside Bob and Eason.

The three combined to create a good chance for Eason as he grazed the bar, then moments later the trio combined to create a chance for Nasal who poked in at the far post.

The fans were treated to a 4 -3 thriller, that was anything but.

Sunnyside Corinthians Reserves 0 Wombles 2

1. Kris “Bored” Lines
2. Neil “High Kicking” McDermott
3. Phil “Hamstrung” Littlewood
4. Flaser “Overlapping Centre Half” Gascoyne
5. Jason “Popularity Contest” Owen
6. Joe “Ronnie” Johnson
7. Simon “Egg, Ugh!” Trussler
8. Neil “Christmas Pants” Lewis
9. Rob “Subbed Due to Cock and Ball Injury” Noel
10. Scott “Terry Hurlock” Eason
11. Ali “Elephant Feet” McDermott
12. Mark “Assuming” Wingrave
13. Dave “Flags Up” Maloney
14. Nathan “Offside” Warner

Goals : Eason, Warner

MOM : Owen

Special Guest Match Report from Lewy (edited by Nase – did you go to school lewy?)

3 Points. A clean sheet and 2 Wombles getting hit in the balls! A good morning was had, with the Ressies getting the season back on track with a much needed win.

A solid performance at the back set the tone for a vastly improved performance, with numerous chances created but not taken by the wombles. The best moment of the first half was Robinho being denied by the post after an outrageous (lucky) attempt from fully 40 yards.

Eason opened the scoring early in the 2nd half to add to his goal tally for the season, after a well worked move with Nasal feeding Truss who unselfishly squared to Eason for a simple tap in.

Sub Nath added a second with a well taken goal after the Corinthians centre half went down injured and expected him to knock it out, much to their annoyance he curled it into the corner of the net! As a result they tried to kick him for the remainder of the game but his temperament stood up well. The game could of been put further out of reach near the end but it was good to get back to winning ways on a freezing cold day.

Roll on the next game.

Wombles 0 Heathfield 7

1. Jase
2. Nase
3. Lee
4. Winners
5. Flaser
6. Weave
7. Lewy
8. Joey Joe Joe Junior
9. Ben
10. Berba
11. Slinky
12. Bobster

MOM : Winners

With half the squad deciding they couldn’t play because it was Christmas, the Wombles faced an uphill struggle with no players, no keeper and no ref!

A mini mutiny before the match was also very unhelpful, the game needed to be played as we had enough players to put the match on and it wasn’t going to be fun in freezing conditions but eventually the match was on after a 30 min delay waiting for someone to ref.

The Wombles started badly and things didn’t get much better. The opposition were looking for revenge after we took points off them earlier in the season and they got it, scoring 7 with no reply forthcoming.

Fair play to Jase for going in goal, he made some great saves and really took one for the team. Winners also did well and Flaser’s “Huigita” style goal line clearances are going to become stuff of legend. Not once but three times he cleared it off the line with his spaghetti legs up and over his head. Excellent stuff.

A terrible day for football was followed by a 0 – 0 draw for the Cobblers in freezing conditions. Merry bloody Christmas!

Wombles 1 Maggies Youth 6

1. Linesy
2. Nase
3. Bugsy
4. Jase
5. Flaser
6. Metronome
7. Weave
8. Lewy
9. Rob
10. Nath
11. Slinky
12. Ben

Scorer : Rob

MOM : Truss

Christmas came early for Maggies youth as the Northampton Utd reserves back line played santa to gift goals galore at Dally Park. The day had started badly for the Wombles with talismanic striker Scott Eason not turning up for the game due to being involved in a lock in at Auntie Ruths, and a lock in at his house while he explained to his misses where he had been til 6am! The game was then delayed while a shovel was found so Nasal could get some dog sh;t off the pitch!

Utd didn’t start too badly but shipped some terrible goals with first Fraser losing his man from a free kick for a free header and then Jase deciding he was the wizard of dribble only to be dispossessed on the touchline providing Maggies with the opening to put them 2 goals ahead. Another goal followed with man of the moment Robinho replying for the Wombles after pressurising the keeper. He should also have had a penalty if he had gone down when fouled but the referee who wanted to be the star of the show decided contact wasn’t justification enough for one!

Second half came and 5 minutes of madness saw the Wombles concede another 3 as Jase gave away his customary Dally Park penalty after the ref decided that now contact wasn’t needed for a decision – just intent! Jase then decided that Kris was a quick and agile keeper and after a number of under hit back passes put us in trouble, Maggies finally scored from one as the orange keeper jogged out of his goal and was beaten by the striker to make it 5 – 1.

The more experienced players in the side sensed it was time to put a foot on the ball and keep possession to regain some composure. From kick off the ball was played back to Nasal whose attempted pass to Flaser bounced off his shin directly to the Maggies striker who made no mistake. A joke goal to end a joke day.

Most of the lads still had enough energy to make it to the Xmas meal with more energy going into getting into the que for the carvery than had been displayed by most players on the pitch. The Gaffa lewy did well to keep himself seperate from the players as he decided to go for a walk in the woods instead of attending the lads get together.